Back to the Past

With the news of Disney purchasing Marvel Comics being released through various media outlets, we wanted to share our thoughts on the issue. Most opinions we have received and read seem to be about the same: the people are not happy. They fear what Disney will do to their beloved company and characters.

We here at Back to the Past are quite optimistic however. We became short of breath thinking of all the glorious crossovers that can now happen! We've compiled the top storylines/projects we would love to see, now that they can happen at any given moment:

• Miley Cyrus finds out Billy Ray Cyrus was trying to destroy the world with “Achy Breaky Heart” and runs away. Going under the alias of Hannah Montana, she joins the rest of the Runaways and they begin a song filled adventure fun for all little girls ages 6-10.
• Peter Parker makes another deal with the devil and the Amazing Spider-Man is no more, replaced by the Neverland adventures of Peter Parker Pan!
• Disney revives the Little Mermaid franchise. Prince Eric has competition for Ariel’s heart when King Triton finds a new suitor…Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner!
• The MAX line becomes less R Rated and more eco-friendly. The Punisher has a change of heart and decides revenge isn’t the way to go. Instead he begins to carry around gigantic water guns to help put out forest fires. Frank Castle becomes The Saturator!
• Disney deems the “X” in X-Men is too risque, and they become the PG-Men. Wolverine loses his blades and they get replaced with feathers. Instead of slicing and dicing he tickles the opposition into submission.
• Emma Frost eats a poisonous apple and falls into a coma. Some Moloids find her and the new, attractive Mole Man revives her and destroys the evil witch in Snow White Queen and the 7 Moloids.
• Apocalypse finds himself in a rut, and happens to meet quite a delightful llama. Looks for “Apocalypse’s New Groove” in theatres soon!
• Disney makes a new movie based off of a recent huge Marvel event. Lilo & Stitch: Secret Cuteness Invasion!
• Daredevil and Bullseye get put on the back burner, because Elektra has a new character to keep her busy in the feel good comedy of the year: Fox and the Hand.
• Disney takes one last stab at one of their most recent blockbuster franchises. The Young X-Men star in High School Musical 4: The Mutant Musical!
• Pixar gets called in to revive the wackiest green family you've ever seen: The Incredibles Hulk!
• The Scarlet Witch murmurs "Minus 97 more..." to unleash 101 Dalmutants on a New York that's forgotten how to smile.

- Mike, Pete & Scott